Action Not Included
by ginchy-amanda
Summary: Luke and Mara discuss their bachelor/bachelorette party gifts.  Just silly fun.


**Title:** Action Not Included  
><strong>Timeline:<strong> AU Union, pretend L/M had different bachelor/bachelorette parties.  
><strong>Notes: This is a fic gift for a friend on another board. The gift had to include the following three things:<strong>

1) What is the name of the holiday? Fettivus Day  
>2) What does Mara give Luke as a present? A vintage action figure of himself<br>3) What is Mara's reaction to Luke's gift to her? Slaps him on the bum playfully and tells him to get in the bedroom

Thanks to **JediMara77** for the beta and help with the last line! Just a little holiday fun! : )

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><p>Mara Jade flopped down onto the settee and surveyed the pile of gifts surrounding her. "Remind me again why we decided to have our respective bachelorette and bachelor parties on Fettivus Day, Skywalker."<p>

Luke Skywalker stood with his arms full of bright packages, looking around as if to find some place to stow them neatly. He gave up after a moment and dumped them all onto the occasional table, plucking one package, still wrapped from the pile. He came over and sat next to his fiancée. "Well, we have been on Garqi for awhile now and in between the Jedi wedding and the public ceremony…"

"Still," Mara said, nodding her head, "we should have known we were in for trouble having stag parties on a holiday intended for practical jokes."

"You're telling me. Remember—Wes Janson was at my party."

Mara looked as if she were trying to squash a smile and was only partially successful. "And just what did Wes give you? Or do I want to know?"

Luke tried not to grin. He leaned over to the table and picked up a piece of fabric, handing them to Mara. She raised an eyebrow but shook the fabric out.

"Boxer shorts that say… NO? How thoughtful…"

With a subtle flick of Luke's hand the room was dark and the shorts in Mara's hands now said YES in place of the no in bright green glowing letters.

Luke turned the lights back up in time to catch the smile on Mara's face.

"Cute," she said. "But I expected worse. Just look what your sister got for me," she said, picking up a package and brandishing it at him.

Luke squinted as he took in the package of what appeared to be sexy underwear. "Are those edib-"

"Yes," Mara said, cutting him off. "They are."

"And my sister got those for us?" Luke looked slightly ill.

Mara exhaled a laugh. "Don't worry; I'm sure she and Han didn't try them out first."

"Mara!"

Mara laughed. "Well, it doesn't matter anyway. We got another set from Mirax, too."

Now Luke's eyes glowed with interest. He scooted closer over the expanse of the settee. "Yeah? What else did your friends get for us?" He moved her braid from her shoulder and kissed her neck.

"Wouldn't you like to know…" Mara teased, arching her neck almost imperceptibly before moving away.

"Hey!"

Mara rolled her eyes at him. "Later." She dropped a gift into his lap. "First, a gift. From me."

"A Fettivus gift from my fiancée?" Luke grinned and shook the gift. "What is it?"

"Don't be such a girl about it," Mara growled. "Just open it."

Luke made a face at her. "I'll show you a girl."

Mara's lips quirked. "La_ter_. Gifts now."

"Fine," Luke said, trying out a pout, but Mara didn't sway. He opened the gift, tossing the paper toward the table. "Is this… oh, Gods."

"A vintage Luke Skywalker doll!" Mara gave an evil grin. "Look, he comes complete with lightsaber and X-Wing gear! Daddy issues not included."

"Ha-ha," Luke said, but tamped down a smile. "And it's not a doll. It's an action figure." He pulled the figure from the packaging and moved its arm.

Mara grabbed it from him. "Action?" she said, pretending to inspect it. "I don't know… it doesn't appear to be anatomically correct enough or any real action."

"Mara!"

She grinned at him, and leaned forward, pecking his lips. "I love it when you say my name in such a scandalized tone."

"You would," he muttered. "Anyway, thank you for my action figure. I'll put him in the freezer and pretend it's a Hoth playset."

Mara laughed. "Cute, Skywalker." She held up the action figure. "He's actually pretty cute, too."

"Awww, thanks, Jade. You know, it's just too bad there was never a Mara Jade… doll."

"Action figure," Mara corrected.

"Right. So along those lines… well, it's interesting to see that our new bond is working…"

"What do you mean?"

"It's just that you and I were thinking very similarly when it came to gifts for this Fettivus day," Luke said, handing his own gift to Mara. "It must be the Force at work."

Mara gave him a faux dubious look, but opened her gift, mouth opening slightly as she pulled a familiar black and blue mesh outfit from the box. She held it up to her chest and raised that ubiquitous red eyebrow. "I thought you didn't see me in Jabba's Palace," she said, referring to the replica of Arica's dancing costume that she held against her chest.

"I didn't… until I saw you in your memory," he said with a grin. "When we bonded."

"And this is your idea of a Fettivus gift?" she asked, holding back her own grin. She stood and held the outfit out in front of her.

"Well," Luke said, standing himself and taking an inordinate amount of time to position the costume against her body. He stared hard as if trying to imagine her out of her clothing and wearing the garment. Mara squirmed under his gaze, but looked anything but uncomfortable with his heated look. "I think our bond was at work here… you got a Luke Skywalker action figure, but since there isn't one for Mara Jade, I decided to make my own…. My very own Arica Action Figure."

"I'll show you action," Mara growled, smacking him on the bottom. "Get in the bedroom, Farmboy—Arica will be there to provide action for you..."

"Luke Skywalker will be waiting," he backed toward his bedroom, "anatomical correctness and all."


End file.
